Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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