My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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