Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
