Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
