Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My liver just broke up with me...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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