I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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