Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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