You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my shit smells like andre
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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