The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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