I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize