Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
