Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
