My friends, they love my intelligence
"it" just moved
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
