Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You're my little dorito
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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