So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
