the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
