By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
