Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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