after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
