Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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