Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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