A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
