first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
