Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
