I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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