I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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