And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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