How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Where is the hickey?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
