Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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