but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
