That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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