so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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