Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize