i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
