I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
