found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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