I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
