It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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