I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i out mim tonsoeep
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