Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wish you could order shots online.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize