I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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