you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
