Sponge bath it is.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Can I color on your dick again?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
