I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
