I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
