DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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