I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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