Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
