I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
