2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
