just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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