Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
