I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
