For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
