those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
