What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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