That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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