I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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