don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
